A transplanted Quarntinee.......

Who would have thought that it would take a 14 day Quarntine to force me to reevaluate my personal blog.....its been so long. 2018 was the last time I felt the desire to visit my blog, pretty sad day it took almost two years to visit it again. So here I am, just me and my trusty Mac. 

Day 1 of the Corona Quarantine and it has become apparent that I should probably put myself on a daily schedule. It was hard getting up and knowing that it couldn't go to my store and be business as usual. I made my bed...like usual....got a treadmill work in....like usual....walked my dog....like usual and ate a healthy breakfast like usual. On all accounts, it seemed like a normal day, except it wasn't.....I am doing a self Quarantine while the Corona virus dictates my every move. 

This is a self Quarantine as a transplant recipient so no one panic. I am virus free. Just trying to keep Leroy the Liver in good condition. I’ve also learned that if I owned the Corona Beer company I’d probably be changing the name. Oh the irony that I am worried about my transplanted liver with the same name as beer!! One way or another Corona is determined to take out my liver! :) 

I am so mad at this @@@@ Virus. 

The weather held out for me to get 12,000 steps and 46 minutes of exercise and fresh air! I saw my Tulips that Ron planted several years ago starting to attempt to add some colour to our winter. I visited "my" river and again thanked it for not washing away my house or "my" lake last year. For that I am very grateful. 

My Chiefs still won the Super Bowl and I love my headband! Its a perfect mood booster for me...reminding me and letting me remember that awesome day! Ron and I were able to catch up on our favourite shows and Ron is tackling his pile of backlogged newspapers for reading.....

Here’s how I feel about this whole virus thing and the people who refuse to take it serious.....shame on you....Myself and Leroy are not happy with you!

and Shame on you Coronavirus....

So why Not?

This morning Ron asked me if I still work on my blog? I replied "I haven't since 2016" he says "Why not?" I had no better answer than I don't know.....what a pathetic excuse for not updating my blog. Before 2015, My reasons were pretty simple....zero motivation to do it. Sick. Feeling awful, having a personal pity party for myself, but come to find out it was way more serious than a personal pity party.

2015, was a totally different story.....I was sick, went through an organ transplant and didn't have the brain or physical power to produce anything that would have been remotely legible. Sometimes, my brain still stutters and doesn't always function like I wish It would, along with my mouth at the same time.

So what was my excuse after that? Nothing, other than excuses.....no internet, hate my computer, nothing interesting to say...blah blah blah........

What I find particularly interesting is how many posts I started that remained a draft! Story of my life after my transplant, everything had to be so monumental and structured and thought out, especially when it came to my writing and creating.

My writing has always been sort of my expression. My personal head diary, so all the stuff stuck up there is still sitting up there ready to be written down. I don't really profess to have anything monutmental to share other than my life, which up until 2015 was pretty busy with work.....

Now here we are almost four years later! Life has changed, in so many ways......I love many of the same things, there are brand new people in my life, I dislike some things I use to like, I keep busy doing the mundane things and the exciting things.

Most of all, Im living life. Everyday is not perfect, or all sunshine and roses, but Im alive and I intend to do what I was told......

"We saved your life now go live yours".........

30 for 30? Let's do this......

On my own.....

All by myself. One woman show. Me, myself and I. Whatever you want to call it.

Since the first time since my transplant my final steps in recovery are all mine.

No Therapists. No buddies. No one poking me along. Now it is really just me and my personal motivation.  I recently read a book recomended to me by a friend called "Looking for Lovely" this is a very insightful and spiritual book. In the book, the author Annie speaks of her own personal experiences with quitting in her life. I have quit and restarted many things including keeping up this blog, but my personal regrowth is something I don't want to quit. Not after I have came this far.

As I look for my own personal lovely, I am trying to dig deep and not slip back into the old ways. Waking in to the Y today I challenged my self to follow the regime that my PT Meghan had taught me and we had done together so often. Me in the water, her on the side encouraging me. It wasn't easy, it's not suppose to be and I know that. It felt great. I felt accomplished and happily walked out with my head held high and a smile on my face. I even took a second to stick my head into to rehab.....I don't easily let go of old friends, thats how I roll.

Taking pictures in a mirror is not my thing, but taking this one was something I felt I needed to do because it was another one of those first time moments.

First time knowing that Meghan or Adrianne would not be there waiting for me. The first time I wouldn't use my rehab card to enter the rehab pool. The first time I would not be able to have someone there laughing and chatting our about weekends, keeping my mind from thinking about the hard work and focusing on just moving. So with Meghan's list in hand and the tools of the Y she trained me to use,  I am armed with what I need to succeed.

Am I back....

I am not sure. Hard to say but here I am.  I got to thinking today about my life a year ago and how different it is. It blows my mind. Many people ask me. If you would have known what you were up against what would you have done. I would have done the same thing, which could make some question my sanity. Maybe it my medication or maybe it's just simply the lessons I've learned.

First lesson after a tramadic almost life ending experience: The small things do matter. Yes yes, I know. It seems kleshea but it's so true. Life really blows when you can't....
tie your own shoes
hook your bra
put your shirt on
pull up your pants
wash dishes
wash your hair
wipe your rear
type
get in a car
ride a four wheeler
cook
do laundry
lift a gallon of milk
buckle your seat belt
drive
or
or
or
or
or
or.....
WALK

Lesson 2. Drs do not suck. They are not the enemy. They are not to be feared. God gave them a natural talent and we are all so lucky to be able to benefit from their talent and knowledge. I have an amazing team of Doctors and specialists who played a major role in saving my life.

Lesson 3. It may surprise you when your sick who really comes to your aide and who runs the other way. I mean like tears off with their shorts on fire.

Lesson 4. Being an Non-drinker is NOT the end of the world. That's right. Waking up and saying what kind of a** can I kick today is much more fun they saying "How am I going to get this trough this horribly long day".

Thats it for now. I have many many more lessons, but this is my mushing for today the 17th of the month. The number of the month that will always be the day. 10 months since my transplant. 10 whole months of lessons learned. I am sure without a doubt their will be more!

Nothing makes Transplant day better than loves from my Doggie........

The neglected posts and absence of attention to this blog....there is a valid reason. Many of you who visit this blog in the next few days and weeks may have been driven here by a post in our Christmas card to visit. Some of you are  returning as old friends to a blog I loved to update. However It has sat silent for an extended amount of time. I could list excuses. Share technical challenges but I prefer the truth. Plain and simple my reason for keeping the blog, my lust for recording life was gone. My lust for a lot if things I loved had taken a backseat to an impending feeling of personal gloom. Not really what you had in mind for a holiday greeting I am thinking but again it is the truth. I remember the day I knew I had enough. I was sitting at a Nebraska football game with me Sister-in-law Kris and telling her how crappy I had been feeling. Yes I used crappy in my "holiday greeting". Crappy is the nice pleasant publishable word.

The abbreviated version of this year will as usual give you a small recap of a year in our lives. There was a small trip to Sunny Phoenix last January with friends on business and pleasure. I wish I could say I had a lovely trip. Not being one to share gloom and doom but again being honest. I was miserable. I felt sick. I was sick of being sick and tired. The straw that broke the camels back was the Lindsay Holy Family fun night at which Mark and Ron were the auctioneers for the evening as Mark had done so many times. I noticed a shirt that I had wore around the holidays was fitting tight and my tummy was protruding. Then all hell broke lose. Yes hell. I will use it because that was what was about to break lose.

We conducted an auction by Hastings Nebraska. The following day I was scheduled to have a Dr appointment with my general Practicioner Dr Zaruba. People who know me know I was never particularly fond of Doctors, so Ron went with me. Before I knew it I was in the Colunbus Community Hospital emergency room on the insistent urging of Dr and his Nurse Sandy who we credit for ultimately saving me life. Such would begin a journey to save my life in the roughest Road trip to Omaha for my extended stay at the University of Nebraska  Medical Center Hotel, night club and day spa..

Here's where I might have to abbreviate things a bit. Things went from crappy to the pits of hell. Things got real real fast. I went from the happy go lucky hard working fun loving girl to a battle tested life fighting Ninja. The big medical words I heard sort of made sense but hearing your liver is failing and to save your life you need a transplant sent me into survival mode. I was not going to let the liver win. I was going to win, come hell or high water....which ironically spring was extremely wet and  floody most of which I watched out of my window on the seventh floor of UNMC.

As most of you have probably figured out by now or witnessed in person, I did get on the transplant list and on May 17, 2015 Ron and I were introduced to our new friend, Leroy the liver. Our new friend was healthy, strong and was just what the Dr ordered Litterally. When I was trying how sum up this year I contemplated this version. I got sick. I almost died. I got a transplant. Merry Christmas. However I obviously changed my mind. After an eternity at Club UNMC Ron, Leroy and I were headed home to Cheerio and what would be the longest, hardest a summer of my life and our climb out of the pit of hell.

Fast forward 6 months later and here we are. It's the middle of the night and I am pouring over the last year in my mind thinking, what just happened and as soon as I find that bus that hit me....I am going to stop it and thank it. Yes thank it for giving me the ride of my life and taught me just the kind of person I truly am....

Happy Holidays to one and all and here's to a great 2015. My greatest blessing of this year beside my friend Leroy and his old friend my donor is one Mr Ronnie boy Stock. You could call us the dream team, the nut truck or the hellovator Warriors. I call us.....

The perfect pair.

Realities

Today, when Ron and I got home from Stockfest 2014, (our annual Stock family trip) in between laundry and unpacking, I decided to do my usual checking up on Facebook for the day. I ran across a picture from the Pilger, Nebraska Tornado clean-up that really hit home to me. My Friend Rachel and I volunteered to assist with Cleanup on the 19th of June, just four short days after the Tornado hit. The photo below was taken by Rachel as we were leaving town. The other photo is one she took emphasizing the fact that the house next door was so badly damaged yet the tree house was completely intact. 

 This is a photo I found from a gentleman who had toured Pilger this past weekend. This is the same house. What struck me was that the house next door has already been removed has everything across the street to the North. Just makes me sad.

The loss these people have suffered is barely comprehendible to me. The thought of losing everything in a matter of seconds seems like something out of a movie UNTIL you actually find yourself digging through boards, trees, sheet rock, wires and endless stuff trying to find something/anything someone could salvage.

People say I am crazy for watching storms, or am I? As the old saying goes when it's your time it's your time, or is it. Sometimes in these situations we really must take a few seconds to protect ourselves and our families, so matter how pointless people make think it seems.